Bad Influence of Influencers

Hi Dr. Justin

My 11-year-old daughter loves makeup and loves doing crazy colourful eyeshadow looks, and she’s pretty good at it. She loves making videos on her iPad; she has brought up recently about wanting to make YouTube videos, but IDK if I want her all over social media like that as she’s not even a teenager yet. The internet can be a dark place, and people can be nasty in the comments. Am I being reasonable, or should I let her upload videos?

Anonymous

Here’s a snapshot of the real influence of social media creators on Gen Z (born in the late 1990s to early 2010s):

• 80% use social media more than once a day.
• Females and Gen Z are higher social media users than males and Millennials, respectively. 92% of Gen Z females and 88% of Millennial females use social media, compared to 82% of Gen Z males and 80% of Millennial males.
• 73% follow at least one influencer; most follow many more, with 63% following more than five.
• 87% see influencer content every time, or most of the time, they are on social media.

More than half of Gen Z Australians (55%) say they would leave their job to become an influencer if they had the chance, according to data from The Behavioural Architects commissioned exclusively for The Australia.

The internet is like the Wild West, and your daughter, at 11, is too young to navigate its treacherous terrain. Social media platforms are notorious breeding grounds for toxicity, especially towards young and vulnerable individuals like her. But it’s not just toxicity. This is a dangerous move.

A recent New York Times investigation looked into young girls who have influencer accounts (usually run by their mothers) and found overwhelming evidence that those girls were receiving attention from paedophiles, often encouraged by their mothers.

If you want to be TikTok or Insta-famous (or YouTube etc), you need likes, engagement, and comments. That means parents and kids will do whatever is necessary to boost followers in order to score brand deals. And the evidence is there that if you have a daughter on these platforms, these risks are guaranteed. Pushing back and saying “no” sounds easy until you’re chasing those numbers. (Oh, and the platforms stop boosting you when you make reports, block, or fail to engage.)

As a parent, your job is to guide your kids to make decisions that are safe and healthy, particularly while they’re building a presently neurologically immature prefrontal cortex. That means working through these questions with your kids in ways that make sense, and not being afraid to be the authority figure in your child’s life when necessary. (Hint: She’s 11; it’s absolutely necessary.)

If you proceed, you place your daughter in the firing line of unsavoury comments that could impact her self-esteem and mental well-being. And then there’s the paedos. From cyberbullying to potential exploitation by strangers, the risks are real and significant. As a responsible parent, it’s your duty to shield her from these dangers until she’s mature and equipped enough to handle them. (Question: Who is mature and equipped enough to handle unsavoury comments, exploitation by strangers, bullying, and the relentless personal worry that “I’m not enough”?)

Additionally, once something is out there in cyberspace, it’s virtually impossible to erase. Do you really want her future prospects tainted by some ill-conceived YouTube videos she made as a child?

If your daughter dives headfirst into the world of social media, she marinates in the message that her worth is tied to likes, views, and comments. Seeking validation from strangers is unhealthy, particularly when the power of YouTube, the world’s biggest streamer, is being leveraged to amplify her so much.

Taking this path means threading a fine needle. Some have done it successfully. And every girl wishes she could have the fame and Insta-success that this path promises.

But for me, the risks aren’t worth it. Taking this pathway teaches girls that their value lies in physical beauty, and the approval of others. My advice: stay away.

What do you do instead?

Instead of exposing her to the potential pitfalls of social media, encourage her creativity in a safer, more controlled environment. Perhaps enrol her in makeup classes or set up a private blog where she can share her passion with friends and family. There are plenty of ways for her to express herself without subjecting her to the unpredictable and often harsh realities of the internet.