Daycare Dramas

Daycare is the “done thing” for about one million Australian families every year. Department of Education figures show close to 1.4 million children attend daycare in any given 12-week period. And while a high proportion of children adjust well, a large minority hate it.

World-leading daycare researcher Jay Belsky has recently dropped a bomb on the established science that kids thrive as a result of daycare, asking questions that are likely to make every caring parent a little nervous. His research points to those issues that we all worry could be a ‘thing’ when it comes to daycare, but that we’re consistently told not to worry about.

Since daycare is a reality for a huge proportion of parents with little ones, we need solutions to help them adjust well to time away from us (as primary caregivers). This matters for everyone, but especially parents whose kids are part of that one third who strongly push against being left in care. Here are three things that can help:

Set up structures.

Predictable routines foster security for children. A special bedtime routine can create a sense of calm and stability. A connected morning routine can create a smooth launch into the day.

Because we’re working with young children, transition warnings, checklists (with pictures), and high levels of parental involvement and communication will make a substantial positive difference. Clear explanations with time to adjust will be helpful.

Develop Dialogue

If structures support capability and mastery, dialogue supports involvement and relationships. And this will be the foundation for supporting your child through any childcare difficulties.

Discuss both the excitement of seeing friends and caregivers again and any sadness about being away from family. Use feeling words to express emotions and create an open dialogue. Recognising and discussing these emotions helps children process their feelings and build a positive association with childcare.

Build Partnerships.

Daycare staff want to help. Not all know exactly how best to do so. Creating a positive partnership with your children’s carer is crucial. This means actively communicating, staying present during drop-offs and pick-ups to provide emotional support to your child at busy transition times, and discussing any concerns with educators early on, allowing for collaborative problem-solving and preventing potential escalation of issues.

Dropping kids at childcare is a necessary reality for many of us. And when done well, it gives parents respite and places children in highly enriching environments with great people caring for them. Things work out best when we spend time with our munchkins talking positively about the experience, discussing joyful moments, reviewing their activities, and helping them build excitement for what’s coming next.

If persistent distress is observed, parents should evaluate if the childcare centre is a good match for their child. Ongoing communication with educators and implementing new strategies can contribute to a more positive adjustment over time.