Pornography-Proofing Your Kids 

Basically… explicit content is everywhere.

It has been over a decade since the UK’s Children’s Commissioner issued a report making this bold and concerning claim. Since then, technology and access to explicit content have only increased.

Here’s what we know:

• The Australian Institute of Family Studies reports that nearly half of children between the ages of 9 and 16 experience regular exposure to sexual images. 
• Parents tend to overestimate the extent of exposure to pornography for younger children and underestimate the extent of exposure for older children. 
• The extent and frequency of viewing explicit material differs by gender, with males more likely to deliberately seek out pornography and to do so frequently.

Here’s why it matters:

Research shows that exposure to explicit content harms children in many ways. Early exposure to explicit content:

• leads to early sexualization,
• distorts understanding of sex and relationships,
• creates unrealistic expectations about appearance and intimacy,
• causes emotional distress and negatively impacts mental well-being,
• fosters objectification,
• reduces empathy,
• promotes insensitivity in relationships,
• desensitises, leading to more extreme content and inappropriate behavior with peers,
• compromises online safety,
• can have legal consequences, and
• affects mental health, academic performance, self-esteem, and body image.

There’s no question that we need to protect our children from explicit content. But how?

Start discussions early (and have them with relative frequency):

1. Stay calm and use clear language.

• Avoid using the term “porn”, as it downplays its gravity. Similarly, avoid referring to it as “adult content”, since many adults also find it inappropriate. Instead, describe it as explicit content or pornography, which accurately conveys its nature.

2. Explain what explicit content is.

• For younger children, provide a simple definition of pornography. You might say, “Some pictures of naked people are art, like the statue of David. But some pictures are intentionally rude. That’s called pornography. If you see pictures or videos of people’s private parts on the Internet, I want you to talk to me straight away.”

3. Ask if they come across uncomfortable things online or if their friends ever talk about it.

4. Teach them about the risks of explicit content.

Encourage them to come to you:

1. Periodically remind them that it’s okay to talk to you if they encounter explicit content.
2. Emphasise that talking with you will make them feel better.
3. Reassure them that they won’t be punished for telling you. 

Use filtering software:

…BUT remember that a filter is like a pool fence. It’s useful when the kids are swimming at home, but you can’t fence the ocean. Kids access the Internet in places outside the home where filters (fences) may not be present. 

The eSafety Commissioner’s Office reminds that “you can teach your child strategies about how to deal with offensive material, but be vigilant, especially if your child is prone to taking risks or is emotionally or psychologically vulnerable.”

Stay close. Talk often. Listen carefully. Be present.