Why We Should End the Praise Craze

How Praise is Actually Bad for Your Child, and What to do Instead

Pretty much every parenting book or program recommends that you “catch your children doing something right and praise them for it.” You’re supposed to reinforce positive behaviour with verbal rewards – making sure it’s “effort praise” and not “person praise”. The idea is that if we pump up our child’s tyres, they’re going to be more motivated, their self-esteem will go up, and in the end we’ll have better kids.

But… that’s not what the research says. In fact, at least three or four decades of studies now confirm that praising our children may have several significant unintended consequences. It’s actually surprisingly bad!

So what are you supposed to do instead?

Join Dr Justin Coulson for this powerful, provocative webcast as he explains the science of praise, why you should avoid it, and how you can give better positive feedback to your children so they actually DO feel motivated, confident, and resilient. It will change the way you speak to your children forever.

The research Dr Justin mentions in the webinar can be found here –

• Madsen, C. H., Becker, W. C., & Thomas, D. R. (1977). Rules, praise, and ignoring: Elements of elementary classroom control. In K. D. O’Leary & S. G. O’Leary (Eds.), Classroom management: The successful use of behavior modification (2nd ed., pp. 63–84). New York: Pergamon Press.
• Schunk, D. H. (1983). Ability versus effort attributional feedback: Differential effects on self-efficacy and achievement. Journal of Educational Psychology, 75, 848–856.
• Schunk, D. H. (1984). Sequential attributional feedback and children’s achievement behaviors. Journal of Educational Psychology, 76, 1159– 1169.
• Koestner, R., Zuckerman, M., & Olsson, J. (1990). Attributional style, comparison focus of praise, and intrinsic motivation. Journal of Research in Personality, 24, 87–100.
• Dweck, C. S. (1986). Motivational processes affecting learning. American Psychologist, 41, 1040–1048.
• Meyer, W. (1992). Paradoxical effects of praise and criticism on perceived ability. European Review of Social Psychology, 3, 259 – 283. DOI: 10.1080/14792779243000087
• Brummelman, E., Thomaes, S., Orobio de Castro, B., Overbeek, G., & Bushman, B. (2014). “That’s not just beautiful. It’s incredibly beautiful!” The adverse impact of inflated praise on children with low self-esteem. Psychological Science, 25, 728-735. Doi: 10.1177/0956797613514251
• Baumeister, R. F., Hutton, D. G., & Cairns, K. J. (1990). Negative effects of praise on skilled performance. Basic and Applied Social Psychology, 11, 131–148.
• Kohn, A. (1993). Punished by rewards: The trouble with gold stars, incentive plans, A’s, praise, and other bribes. New York: Houghton Mifflin.
• Lepper, M. R., Greene, D., & Nisbett, R. E. (1973). Undermining children’s intrinsic motivation with extrinsic reward: A test of the “overjustification” hypothesis. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 28, 129–137.
• Lepper, M. R., & Henderlong, J. (2000). Turning “play” into “work” and “work” into “play”: 25 years of research on intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation. In C. Sansone & J. M. Harackiewicz (Eds.), Intrinsic and extrinsic motivation: The search for optimal motivation and performance (pp. 257–307). San Diego, CA: Academic Press.
• Lepper, M. R., Henderlong, J., & Gingras, I. (1999). Understanding the effects of extrinsic rewards on intrinsic motivation—Uses and abuses of meta-analysis: Comment on Deci, Koestner, and Ryan (1999). Psychological Bulletin, 125, 669–676.
• Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1985). Intrinsic motivation and self-determination in human behavior. New York: Plenum Press.
• Kohn, A. (1986). No contest: The case against competition. Boston: Houghton Mifflin. And see also Kohn, A. (2005). Unconditional parenting. New York: Atria Books.
• Meyer, W. (1992). Paradoxical effects of praise and criticism on perceived ability. European Review of Social Psychology, 3, 259 – 283. DOI: 10.1080/14792779243000087
• Kamins, M. L., & Dweck, C. S. (1999). Person vs process praise and criticism: Implications for contingent self-worth and coping. Developmental Psychology, 35, 835-847.
• Mueller, C. M., & Dweck, C. S. (1998). Praise for intelligence can undermine children’s motivation and performance. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75, 33-52.
• http://www.uky.edu/~eushe2/mrg/MuellerDweck1998.pdf accessed June 16, 2016.
• Grusec, J., & Redler, E. (1980). Attribution, reinforcement, and altruism: A developmental analysis. Developmental Psychology, 16, 525-534.
• Bryan, C. J., Adams, G. S., & Monin, B. (2013). When cheating would make you a cheater: Implicating the self prevents unethical behaviour. Journal of Experimental Psychology, 142, 1001-1005. doi.org/10.1037/a0030655
• Henderlong, J., & Lepper, M. R. (2002). The effects of praise on children’s intrinsic motivation: A review and synthesis. Psychological Bulletin, 128, 774-795.