The Secret to Better Parenting? Go to Bed!

I don’t know any parent who, at 7:30pm as they drag themselves through another hell-ish night with kids refusing to eat, contribute, or make life easy for anyone, looked at their husband/wife/partner and said, “You know what? I’m just so tired… but we are nailing it!”

There is simply no parenting hack I can offer you that will “lighten the load” better than this one: get enough sleep. Be well rested. 

I know, I know. It seems unfair. “Don’t you know how busy I am?” “I don’t have time to do it all.” “The kids won’t let me.”

There are a million reasons we’re sleep-deprived. Sometimes it’s medical. Sometimes it’s psychological. Sometimes it’s the reality of shift work, a crying baby, illness, insomnia, or any number of other challenges.

But what is irrefutable is that sleep makes us better parents.

The research on sleep is striking:

A 2024 study of 154 studies on sleep found that all forms of sleep loss or poor sleep affects emotional functioning – badly. (Another massive 2021 study emphasises how sleep reduces emotional regulation.)

Another 2024 study with close to 44 000 participants showed sleep quality affects couple relationship, our responsiveness to one another, and how much conflict we have in our homes.    

And a specific parenting study from 2019 of 314 toddler mums found that when parents had less hours of sleep, later bed times, and more variable sleep/wake patterns, they reported more dysfunctional parenting.

You don’t need the studies to prove what you already know though. Sleep matters. It’s hard to be a good parent or partner – or to have a happy home life – when everyone’s exhausted.

So, here are some simple tips you don’t always hear about – for you and the kids.

1. Bed time should be the same time each night. If this isn’t working, get up at the same time each morning. The body will sort it out fast.

2. Eliminate screens in the last hour before bed. Preferably longer if you can.

3. Rooms will ideally be cool, dark, and quiet.

4. If sleep isn’t happening, consider lifestyle factors including increasing physical activity (energy output), diet (reduce sugars), and screens. 

5. No daytime naps later than 2:30pm! Sleep pressure won’t have time to build if you nap too late.

Getting enough rest isn’t just a dream – it’s the foundation of not losing your sheet with the kids.