This morning, Jewish children across Australia are asking impossible questions after one of the worst nights in our recent history.

A mother wrote to me in response to something I shared last night:

“I wish we could give our children a light, age-appropriate overview. But Jewish children don’t have that luxury. They walk past armed guards to get to their classroom. Their innocence is already gone.”

She’s right. And my heart is broken for every Jewish parent navigating this moment.

Here’s what the research – and what basic human decency – tells us your children need.

And much of this is relevant in EVERY family, Jewish or non-Jewish, if we are to confront this atrocious, inhuman mentality that does not belong here.

What children need when the world turns cruel

1. The truth, spoken clearly

Don’t soften it. “Yesterday, people came to hurt Jewish families celebrating Hanukkah because they hate Jewish people. That’s called antisemitism, and it’s evil.”

Children can handle hard truths better than they can handle sensing you’re hiding something.

2. Name their feelings – all of them.

“It’s scary. It’s unfair. You’re angry. You’re sad. You might feel unsafe.”

Validation doesn’t make feelings worse – it helps children process them. Let them cry. Let them rage. Sit with them in it.

3. Answer their questions honestly.

“Why do people hate us?”
Because antisemitism has existed for thousands of years, and some people still carry that hatred in their hearts.

“Will it happen again?”
I don’t know. But we are doing everything we can to keep you safe.

Don’t promise what you can’t guarantee.

4. Reinforce their identity as strength, not vulnerability.

For me, this is central to recovery and growth. Tell your child:

“Being Jewish is not something to hide or be ashamed of. It’s who you are, and it’s beautiful. These people want you to be afraid to be Jewish. We won’t give them that.” Help them see their identity as something to be proud of, even – especially – now.

5. Show them community in action.

Let them see shiva. Let them see people showing up. Bring them in to participate in the rituals.

Children heal through belonging. The Jewish community knows this – you’ve been doing this for millennia. Trust those traditions. I’m envious of them and wish they were part of our broader social life.

6. Create safety without creating paralysis.

Yes, be vigilant. Yes, have security. But also let them play, laugh, and be children.

Trauma research is clear: children need to see adults managing fear, not being consumed by it. They’re watching how you respond.

7. Let them see you grieve – and let them see you stand up.

Don’t hide your tears. Don’t hide your anger. And don’t hide your refusal to be silenced.

Model resilience, not by pretending everything’s fine, but by showing them that even in the face of hatred, we keep going. We keep celebrating. We keep being Jewish.

I’m probably writing this far too fast in an effort to be helpful. There are more things I could say. But I want to get the basics out there for you, and I don’t want it to add to your overwhelm. I hope this is useful.

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A word to every parent and every reader

The Jewish community needs more than our thoughts and prayers. They need our voices, our solidarity, our refusal to tolerate antisemitism in any form – casual jokes, conspiracy theories, “criticism of Israel” that’s actually thinly veiled hatred of Jewish people.

Since October 8, 2023, Australia has offered no voice, no solidarity, and has openly allowed antisemitism. This is where it has led.

Please reach out to your Jewish friends and neighbours and support them. And please be strong enough to call out antisemitism when you see it.

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When children ask how to make sense of this, look for the helpers

When there’s a tragedy – when evil is unleashed on the world – people often share the quote ascribed to Fred Rogers that we should “look for the helpers”.

If your kids are struggling to comprehend this incomprehensible massacre on our shores, here are some helpers you can point to:

1. The hero who tackled and disarmed one of the gunmen.

Ahmed al-Ahmed, a 43-year-old father of two (who is Muslim), was just passing by when he heard the shooting. With no firearms or self-defence training, he charged one of the gunmen from behind, wrestled the rifle away, and pointed it back at the attacker – forcing him to retreat.

Ahmed was shot twice in the struggle and is recovering in hospital. Countless people are alive because he didn’t hesitate. I find myself in tears just thinking about what he did. Heroism is not a big enough word for me here.

2. The police and ambos who risked their lives and gave all they had to protect and preserve life.

Emergency responders flooded the scene, literally putting themselves in the firing line.

Two police officers were shot while protecting the community and are currently in serious but stable condition after surgery. They ran toward danger while others ran away. I am in awe.

3. The woman who shielded a little girl throughout the shooting.

A father searching desperately for his daughter found a stranger lying on top of her, protecting her with her own body. The woman had been shot but told him: “I’ve got your daughter, I’ve been protecting her.”

He said to her, “You’ve saved my daughter’s life. I’ll be indebted to you for the rest of my life.” How do you ever thank a person for that kind of courage? For that level of sacrifice?

4. The everyday people who performed CPR, applied pressure to wounds, and gave first aid.

Footage shows civilians crouched beside victims, performing CPR, stemming bleeding, moving the injured to safety – all while uncertain if the danger had passed. Bystanders rendered aid for 40 minutes to keep victims alive until paramedics could take over.

5. The countless people who have lined up to give blood.

The lines at donation centres snaked around buildings this morning. Lifeblood issued urgent calls for O-negative blood, and Australians showed up. Blood banks are now working to open additional appointments because so many people want to help.

In the face of unspeakable hatred, look at what humanity offers in return: courage, sacrifice, protection, healing, solidarity.

That’s what you tell your children.

Evil tried to win yesterday. The world can be brutal. But look at all these helpers.