Why We Chose to Homeschool (and What Parents Should Know)

For years, Kylie and I have been asked the same question regularly:

Why do you homeschool?

Homeschooling wasn’t a snap decision. It was a conversation we revisited for more than a decade.

There were moments when we questioned the school system—not because schools are bad, but because school wasn’t working for some of our kids. And yet, for a long time, we couldn’t quite say yes to doing something different.

Looking back, Kylie often says she wishes she’d trusted her instincts earlier. At least a couple of our children, now finished school, might have had better educational experiences if we’d acted sooner.

Safety, Anxiety, and the Cost of School Pressure

When we finally did decide to homeschool, one word sat at the centre of it all: safety. Not just physical safety—but emotional and psychological safety too.

At school, many children live under constant pressure: comparison culture, academic performance, social hierarchies, bullying, and anxiety. For some kids, especially those who are neurodivergent, sensitive, or wired differently, that pressure becomes overwhelming.

This isn’t just our observation. Across Australia, homeschooling has surged dramatically since 2020, largely driven by bullying, school refusal, and mental health concerns. 

Homeschooling offers something different: the ability to tailor pace, expectations, environment, and learning style to the child sitting in front of you.

What Our Daughter Told Us

At the end of last year, we asked our daughter Emilie a simple but important question:

Do you want to keep homeschooling, or would you like to go back to school?

Her answer came without hesitation.

She talked about loving the flexibility. About doing around two hours of focused learning a day. About learning at home, with someone who knows her deeply. About having time to be creative, to earn money, to pursue friendships without squeezing them into frantic afternoons.

She spoke about enjoying learning again.

That mattered more to us than any timetable or test.

Motivation Beats Compliance

One of the biggest surprises for me has been how strongly homeschooling aligns with what we know from psychology.

When kids have autonomy—when learning is self-directed and meaningful—intrinsic motivation increases. Learning becomes something they want to do, not something they’re forced to comply with.

Compare that with the constant testing, ranking, and pressure many children experience at school. We often tell kids they need to “get used to it,” but the truth is, adult life doesn’t work that way. We collaborate. We problem-solve. We Google. We learn because we’re motivated.

What Does the Research Say About Homeschooling?

This is where things get interesting.

Homeschooling research is messy—not because it’s bad, but because homeschooling is incredibly diverse. Some families follow structured curricula. Others unschool. Some hire tutors. Others lean into project-based learning.

Here’s what we can say:

• Australian homeschoolers who sit NAPLAN (a small group) score, on average, significantly higher than their schooled peers
• US studies show homeschoolers often perform 15–30 percentile points higher on standardised tests
• There is no evidence homeschoolers have poorer social skills or mental health outcomes
• Some studies show lower anxiety and stronger self-concept
• Long-term outcomes are encouraging: university attendance is comparable or higher, with no career disadvantage

Importantly, there is also no evidence that traditional schooling produces better outcomes overall.

The Factor That Matters Most

If I had to summarise the research in one sentence, it would be this:

Motivated, engaged parents tend to raise children who do well—regardless of schooling method.

Whether your child is in a traditional school, distance education, a hybrid model, or homeschooling, parental involvement matters more than the system itself.

One-size-fits-all systems struggle to serve every child. That doesn’t make them bad—it just makes them limited.

When School Became Too Much

I’ll be honest: there were days before homeschooling when school felt like torture.

We watched our kids come home exhausted, anxious, and defeated. We watched their love of learning slowly disappear. Some mornings, we carried them to the car in pyjamas, kicking and screaming—not because they were defiant, but because they were overwhelmed.

And here’s the part that haunted us most: school was the only place they felt that way.

Is Homeschooling for Everyone?

No. Absolutely not.

Homeschooling is hard. It changes family rhythms. It reduces adult freedom. It requires sacrifice, patience, and flexibility.

But here’s what I wish more parents knew earlier: it’s not a permanent decision.

You can try homeschooling. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, your child can go back to school. No harm. No failure.

Education is not a life sentence—it’s a journey.

Our Position—for Now

For our family, homeschooling has meant safety, flexibility, curiosity, and restored wellbeing. It has given our children space to learn what excites them and time to grow without constant pressure.

We’re not anti-school. We’re pro-child.

And for now, this is the right choice for us.

If you’re a parent wrestling with similar questions, know this: you’re not alone, and you’re not wrong for asking.

Sometimes the bravest parenting decision is simply being willing to do things differently.